Arbitrary Flights of Fancy

A look inside my head

How to Make an Ass of Yourself in Front of Your Entire Staff

Every school year starts the same way. First, we have a “pretend” work day. I believe the main purpose of this day is to make sure we are all physically capable of waking up at 6 AM after a long summer break.  The entire school district gathers at the high school for what is called “breakfast”. Questionable bagels served with even more questionable coffee. This year there was fruit! But I go every year because this is the only time I may see some of these people all year. It’s fun to see the teachers from other buildings and catch up on everyone’s kids and summer festivities.

After breakfast, there’s Professional Development. Usually some sort of motivational speaker or perhaps training on new curriculum materials. The superintendent speaks to us, tells us how much he missed all of us, and reminds us that the school district has exactly $1.95 in the bank and there will be no money spent on anything this year. Rah, rah…go forth into the world and bring up test scores!! We all go home, rejuvenated and ready to work.

The next day is in our buildings. The principal has a staff meeting that lasts longer than he says it will, despite his many promises to be brief. He reminds us of the superintendent’s reminder about the $1.95, and explains this is why there will be no pencils, paper, or crayons this year. Rah, rah…go forth and REALLY raise those test scores!! You can do it! Then we all go back into our rooms and decorate them all pretty and get ready for the kiddos to descend upon us.

This second day was where I went wrong this year.  Very, very wrong.  The principal taped the sign-up sheets for this year’s committees on the windows in our media center.  These windows are at the top of a set of stair-like riser thingies (I can’t think of a more articulate way to describe them, sorry).  The risers are very similar to these:

Stairs much like the ones in question…this is not my school.

So far, so good.  I happily signed up for two committees and was about to move on to a third sign-up sheet in a different part of the room.

Not on the stairs.

You can see where this is going, can’t you? 🙂

Now, keep in mind, the entire staff is there including several new teachers who I have never met before.  The meeting is JUST about to begin.  All eyes are on the principal, who is right by me.

As I walked to the other lists, I missed the bottom step.  Turned my ankle.  And caught myself gracefully with my face!  Let me tell you, faces do not offer much support when one is falling.  The principal swoops in, offers to call an ambulance.  Within seconds, the secretary swoops in with an “incident report” for me to fill out.  Multiple people rush over to help me to a chair, refusing to allow me to try to walk.  I discover that I have bent my glasses beyond recognition, I can barely walk, my lip is fattening up nicely, and my nose has bleeding rugburns on it.  Nice!  Welcome to the 2012-13 school year, Aimee!

Now the good news is that I am fine.  The ankle was just twisted, not broken.  No doctors were involved, and the meeting was able to continue…with me in attendance, albeit with my foot up and on ice.  Only my pride was seriously hurt.  The bad news is that the principal insisted that we all get our pictures taken.  These pictures are going to be prominently displayed somewhere in the building for all to see, and I look like a truck ran over my nose.  Again…nice!

I can’t wait to see it.  🙂  The school year can only go up from here!


3 comments on “How to Make an Ass of Yourself in Front of Your Entire Staff

  1. diannegray
    September 9, 2012

    Oh, you poor thing! That’s something I would do so I really feel for you 😦

    Hope everything is healing nicely 🙂

    • Aimee
      September 9, 2012

      Yep, all healed up. Thanks! Just some twinges in my ankle still if I bend it wrong, but no major harm 🙂

  2. Aimee
    September 21, 2012

    I have recently discovered that the principal has the aforementioned photos prominently displayed in the entranceway to the school. Right there for all parents to view as they enter. I hope they don’t look too close!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on September 3, 2012 by in Education, life, Teaching and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: